GREETINGS

Swamiji:

What you describe is a problem faced by many people in their path of scriptural studies. That is why it was advised to study under the guidance of a guru to dispel your fears, doubts and egoism. A common issue is “attachment” to one’s knowledge. A lot of people feel threatened when their thought is questioned or when they are challenged with another idea. Much as, it is good to impart what you learned to others, always look at yourself as a lifetime student, willing to learn from every source. Never take an attitude that ” I know better”…..you are bound to hurt. The Universe has space for all ideas and thoughts. If you are open and accepting, instead of being defensive and authoritative, every exchange will add to your wisdom. Bhagavan did not create you with any intention of getting your acceptance or acknowledgement. You created yourself by the nature of your karmasanskaras and vasanas. You are constantly trying to progress from where you are. What you call surrender,  is the ultimate expression of humility, before a supreme intelligence. To get there, you have to overcome your satwic qualities as well, or in other words, you have to be above all gunas. (that is why it is said to reach Bhagavan you have to overcome not only Avidya, but Vidya also). In other words, your ego attached to your knowledge has to be discarded. Hari Om.