1:36nihhatya dhārtarāṣṭrān naḥ kā prītiḥ syāj janārdanapāpam evāśrayed asmān hatvaitān ātatāyinaḥ1:37tasmān nārhā vayaṁ hantuṁ dhārtarāṣṭrān svabāndhavānsvajanaṁ hi kathaṁ hatvā sukhinaḥ syāma mādhava In Śloka 36 and 37, Arjuna
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Pranamam Swamiji, wise people say that the greatest joy is in giving but how can we truly give joyfully all the time. From childhood we are so used to getting attention, love, appreciation etc, from parents, teachers, friends and later from the opposite gender but after one stage we are expected to give a lot, like give love, support, appreciation and sacrifice to people around us without bothering if they will give it back because if they don’t, it might hurt. Everyone seems to be in taking mode, our family, that is elderly parents and in laws, children, husband and at work, they all seem to need so much from us, a lot of times we need to ignore our pains and take the higher path. Sometimes I tend to feel drained out and empty on the inside. I understand it’s important to enjoy everything life gives us but it’s hard to always give and pretend we are fine although on the inside there is pain and nobody seems to really have time for it. I don’t want to look like a weakling. How do we deal with this?
Posted by Preeti on April 18, 2018
You took from your parents, teachers and friends. Is it not your responsibility to pay back to your parents and children? You get a salary from work that sustains you. Are you not supposed to give back at your job then? I know it is hard as a working young mother to meet all expectations. The trick is to do just as much as should be done and not overdo to impress or prove. You should first have satisfaction in you, only then you can give it to others. The joy of giving exists only when you do something out of own will. Anything you do to prove your worth or get appreciation or love will drain you eventually because you feel there is a taking mode on the other end. However, if you do because you enjoy doing it….there is no expectation attached. Do things to the extend you would happily do for your children, parents, husband, at work etc. Set limits. You may see some resistance in the beginning but be bold to nicely ignore it. Then people will know how far they can push you. Smile and feel the power of giving….instead of feeling utilized. Never kill yourself to fill someone’s “greedy needs”. Know when to say “NO” in a nice way. Chant Mahalekshmi ashtakam when you feel drained. The power of “all giving Mother” will fill you. My blessings are with you. Hari Om.
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