1:36nihhatya dhārtarāṣṭrān naḥ kā prītiḥ syāj janārdanapāpam evāśrayed asmān hatvaitān ātatāyinaḥ1:37tasmān nārhā vayaṁ hantuṁ dhārtarāṣṭrān svabāndhavānsvajanaṁ hi kathaṁ hatvā sukhinaḥ syāma mādhava In Śloka 36 and 37, Arjuna
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Swamiji, with a sad mind I’m writing this.. I’m married for 9 years now..i know nobody is perfectly satisfied with their partners.. but my mind often gets fed up with my partner’s character. from the day I was married I could understand that he has only second priority for his wife and first preference was always given to his parents.. but I never took it into my heart because I considered him as a good human being who just didn’t leave his parent’s side soon after marriage.For small decision also he used to consult his father first and considered it more than my opinions. I avoided that because I never wanted to create a problem in the house or in his life because of me. I expected that all these would change one day and after having a family with kids he might be matured enough to take his own decisions. but to my surprise he is still in the same boat. recently to choose a better organization he disregarded my opinion saying that ‘why do interfere in these matters’.. and again went for his father’s advice. when he understood that I felt bad he did what I suggested. Swamiji.. In my house I had brought up seeing my parents taking decisions by discussing each other. I don’t know how to overcome today’s situation and adjust better. please advice.
Posted by Simi on September 8, 2017
Let me tell you there is nothing to be sad of, in your situation. All you need is the ability to not make things a big deal. If you have a son and he grows up and asks you for advice in his personal matters, won’t you give him the best possible advice? Your husband is trusting his father out of his experiences. As a wife you should be proud of him. Now if you prove your suggestions are better, he will listen to you too, like he did in the last instance. But there is tact and wisdom to use when you suggest something. If you present it with a tone that he is not taking your suggestions but listening to his father, you will make him feel you are too immature about it. Instead appreciate him listening to his Dad, at the same time, give your input in a non- judgemental way. The regret about the past is the worst enemy that can take away our energy and motivation. Focus on being a smart and cheerful presence in your husband’s life. He will automatically listen to you. Hari Om.
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