1:36nihhatya dhārtarāṣṭrān naḥ kā prītiḥ syāj janārdanapāpam evāśrayed asmān hatvaitān ātatāyinaḥ1:37tasmān nārhā vayaṁ hantuṁ dhārtarāṣṭrān svabāndhavānsvajanaṁ hi kathaṁ hatvā sukhinaḥ syāma mādhava In Śloka 36 and 37, Arjuna
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Its with great sadness I am typing this. My mother is my first spiritual guru. Iam 27years old. She is a great devotee of Bhagavan Sri Krishnan. When me and my brother was in her womb itself she started reading bhagavatam and went regularly to temple etc. May due to this reason I have a strong desire to understand real thathva of life, want to understand Bhagavatam, Gita, Veda etc even though Iam doing my PhD in physics. I can’t see any difference between the two. I don’t say that Iam fully spiritual. As every human Iam living in this material world. But for the past some time I am not that much concerened about this material world. Iam trying to do all my duties and along with that I have a strong desire for studying our great culture. But now my spiritual guru Amma is not allowing it. I got a golden opportunity to join Veda paraayana class at abhedashrama. But now she is not allowing. She is afraid that I won’t allow for marriage etc. I told her many times that I won’t disappoint her but I am equally interested in this field also. I can’t make her tensed and join a class but my mind is pulling me that way. I don’t know what to do. But I strongly feel that I born not for just fulfilling my material needs alone. What should I do Swamiji? Is it my fault that Iam disappointing her?As a daughter I will never forget my duties towards her. But I know her. I can’t convince her for sure. I don’t know whether this kind of questions suits here or not.I not then Iam sorry Swamiji. But nobody else could help me by showing me the correct way.
Posted by Meenu Venugopal on May 3, 2015
Please understand, these questions arise when you are not clear about what you want in life.
Each person is born in this world with his own karma samskaras acquired through prior births. The reason you were born to your mother’s womb is probably the level of spiritual understanding she maintained. But her wanting you to have a family and such is understandable from her perspective. You have to talk to her of your disinterest in such things. It will be a bigger problem if you enter into a married life with no interest in it. Marriage is not a prescription for every one in the world. And if you enter it, you should be committed to your spouse and kids.
Don’t be confused when you take a decision. Meditate on the thought for a few days. Your path in life will become clearer to you. Once you know for sure what you want, go for it. Bhagavan will guide you properly. Your Amma will support once you are sure of your intentions.
HariOm
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