1:36nihhatya dhārtarāṣṭrān naḥ kā prītiḥ syāj janārdanapāpam evāśrayed asmān hatvaitān ātatāyinaḥ1:37tasmān nārhā vayaṁ hantuṁ dhārtarāṣṭrān svabāndhavānsvajanaṁ hi kathaṁ hatvā sukhinaḥ syāma mādhava In Śloka 36 and 37, Arjuna
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Namaskaram Swamiji, I have been reading many questions and the answers you give in this site. Pls do not mistake me swamijj, as you answer to many parents to be kind soft and respect or enjoy with their children give them their freedom or space etc.what ever it may be, its very easy from your side to say it off or advise but practically very difficult as am too having such adolescent son who is stubborn and does only what he likes. We have to satisfy all his wishes if not he does hunger strike, doesn’t take food for days together, he buys biscuits coke etc. He is behaving so indifferently so restless and we doubt if he’s into smoking. He wanted a bike we bought and gave twice we put him in gym near by but he hardly went, because of his compulsion only we put him even though he hasn’t gone much and wasted that money and now the hunger strike is that we are not allowing him to join another gym which is quite far away from our house. He says that his friend has joined there so he wanted to give him company. Don’t know what is his motive. He’s always on the phone, never trims his hair, clumsy boy. Really we wonder how could he grow in such a decent family with such indecent behaviour and silly stubbornness which is spoiling his health and creating mental agony for us. Hari om
Posted by Kalaiarasi on January 25, 2018
You have correctly put it “silly stubbornness” which he has managed to make a big disaster for you to manage. The first time you surrendered to his hunger strike to get his things done, you lost !! Because he knows, what makes you weak. I totally understand your love as parents, but succumbing to such “manipulative behavior” will only worsen it. Is he an only child? Next time, he goes on his biscuit and coke strike, just let it be……do not discuss anything with him. Don’t scold, don’t advice, just ignore. The only thing “manipulators” cannot deal with, is being ignored. He will then come begging for your attention. At that point, you can advice him or take him to a teen counselor. Do Namajapam at home loudly in the evenings for him to hear. Be loving to him when he behaves well and ignore when he is bad. He will understand what you appreciate and what is not ok to do. This is part of establishing his identity, but you have to be strong to deal with him as well. Do not let your love for him, be your limitation in dealing with him. Hari Om.
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