GREETINGS

Swamiji:

I well understand your situation. There are many cases where the family talks all good about the man. Later on when you start living with the person, you understand the true character of that person. But after marriage even if we regret we have only two options. Either to go in for a divorce or boldly continues life with the same person. If you find certain good qualities in him then you will be able to influence him. If your husband is ready to listen to at least some of your advice, then please take him daily to a temple. Don’t talk about his drinking or smoking habits as he may not cooperate. Tell him it is a sankalp. Say you saw some bad dream and that something bad is going to happen. Which I won’t tell you but which I don’t want to happen or come true. Lies can be said for positive situations. Even in the Srimad Bhagavatham while explaining Mahabali’s story it is said – to protect someone’s life or to uplift one’s life there is no harm in telling a lie. In the same way if you can take him to a temple and also do pradarshanam daily and ask him to chant “Om Narayana” mantra. When this becomes a part of life, he will find happiness in that. While going to temple talk all good never complain. Don’t mention your problems. If you entertain him then you can notice that he may realize, these good habits are making him happier than his drinking and smoking etc. Find out good friends who are able to console him in coming out of such habits. If you work hard towards this, there is a way as said – “ If there is a will, there is a way”. You try your best by waking up early in the morning and do some sadhana, take a japa mala and chant. One day he will realize that you are growing spiritually and he is drowning in spirit. So this will arise in him a feeling of guilt. Therefore don’t blame him but rather help him inspire him, guide him and he will come out successfully from this habit. If his character is not good or he is not ready to improve then you can come out of this relationship.