1:36nihhatya dhārtarāṣṭrān naḥ kā prītiḥ syāj janārdanapāpam evāśrayed asmān hatvaitān ātatāyinaḥ1:37tasmān nārhā vayaṁ hantuṁ dhārtarāṣṭrān svabāndhavānsvajanaṁ hi kathaṁ hatvā sukhinaḥ syāma mādhava In Śloka 36 and 37, Arjuna
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Oom Namo Narayanaya nmaha! Omm Sree Guruve Namaha! Sir, I have two sons. Elder sons marriage will take place in August 27th. In the meantime my 2nd son was loving a girl from his colleage days nealy 3/4 years deeply and they made promises that in future they will live together knowingly or unknowingly. Few days back two three times girls family members came to my house and argued that how this marriage can be accepted by them and by Our brahmin family ? to my son. Ours is a tulu/karnataka brahmins – potty family. we speak tule mother tong, and knows malayalam (my wife & myself born & brought up in Kerala, Tripunithura. Now settled in Tamil Nadu. Sons studied in Tamil Nadu, now both are Engineers. my mind is worried of how to sort out hurdless between the two families for this marriage. 2nd son is only 22 yrs. and the girls is nearing 23. Their family is of Tamilnadu born and speak tamil . Main hrudle is ours is an orthodex bramin culture and this girl belongs to 3rd placed cast by the existing society set up. caste/cultured (Pillai or Nayeedu cast) Girls family fame to my house and advised my son also to relinguish his love and free the girls. But he is now admant and crying and angry and moodout. We also advised to meditate and hear Sreemadth Bhagavatham, Narayaneeyam, Bhagavath Geetha Prabhashanams and decide your destiny. But he is crying and says forgetting that girl is very difficult for him and crying when speak of that topic. How can I and my sorrowful wife to pacify them and sort this problem amicably? Girl also stands that if my son says he will totally forget her and allow to marry in their cast boy as per their parents wishes, then she will also try to forget all. But boith are already decided and not going back to depart. Kindly give me a reply step 1 to step 10 good advises to me, to my son, to the son’s loving girl to their family members how to pacify them to mitigate their sorrows and get out of life difficult situations in future created in the existing society set up if they got married against wishes of both the family members and both the family members are not acceptable and tolarate this marriage. With warm regards, Vasudevan.
Posted by M.H.VASUDEVAN on July 27, 2014
I understand your problem and I can feel your pain.
Life looks very hard but learn the art of making it smooth.
The society has created a barricade of caste-ism, but love doesn’t know these barriers.
You may not accept my view because you are thinking from your caste frames, nevertheless just imagine if you were standing in the position of that Girl and think about the one who loved you deeply on other side.
Yes, it so hard for the true loving people to get out of that circle.
You can guide your son by asking him how he is going to face the situation especially when family gets together, where she may not accepted.
Also about the children, whether he wants them to grow in his culture or her.
If you give him guidance he may rethink if that love is not too strong and deep.
Otherwise learn to say “I accept God’s will, let them be happy and I am happy when they are happy”.
HariOm!
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