GREETINGS

I am a Hindu and always had faith in Hindu gods and rituals but never understood the hindu scriptures much,Except when i hear discourses on tv etc,i really like them but somehow they dint touch me deep inside,Once as i was depressed in my late teens,i happened to hear sermons of very good pastors and it changed my life completely.I generally dont discuss my faith in jesus with people,but the change inside me changed the way people behaved with me,some of my old friends still act mean to me ,otherwise most people find me interesting and attractive and unlike before i like meeting people and getting to know them,i used to hide and run away from people before, except for weird creepy people or control freaks,i can adjust with most people now.But my mother doesnt like my interest in christianity, i just tell her that it is a different way of reaching the same God and God is one though with different names,still she doesnt listen .I had been to ISKCON preachings to understand Gita better and i should not say this but it was one my worst experiences.What i understood was that they teach humility and say that being submissive is the way to reach krishna but i have experienced that being submisive just makes you lose all your integrity and you develop that helpless victim mentality,and then you are soon just not yourself and people just walk all over you and make you into something that they want you to be,Since then i dont like our scriptures at all ,i know its because i have no knowledge of them and have never properly understood them ,but now i not only hate our scriptures but also feel scaredof all these selfish false gurus.I heard some of your discourses and liked them and found them very practical.How do i remove this fear and how do i convince my mother to give me the freedom to choose the faith i want.